Tips and Reminders
During a session :
- Maintain nonjudgmental attitude.
- Be curious about the voices.
- Do not try to fix or change the voices.
- Don't talk to voices you are in severe reaction to;
ask the other person to facilitate you in that voice.
- If you get lost while talking with a voice, or if
you are not sure what is happening, bring the person
back to the state of aware ego, discuss it and try again.
- Placement is important; each voice must have its
own physical space; aware ego must have its own place
- Provide adequate time for each voice. If not possible,
let each voice know that it has very little time.
- Allow enough time for witness and recreating the
- Be honest with the voices; don't argue with them
or make promises on behalf of the other person.
- Encourage the voice to speak about the other person
as a separate entity.
- Change in posture, voice, expression or language
indicates another voice is present.
- Try to balance the voices when possible; for example,
powerful and vulnerable.
- Be yourself and have fun discovering your own style.
Aware ego strengthening and maintainance.....
Hold daily staff meetings with your many selves. Check
in with them, find out how they are doing and what they
might need from you, and let them know what you need
Short meditation bringing in one or more voices just
enough to feel their presence.....
Sit for a minute in the tension, then adjust the energy
levels, experimenting with bringing one voice in stronger
while turning the other down. Then reverse. Release
one at a time. Ask yourself at the beginning and the
end of each day which voices are running you, which
voices are trying to get your attention, and which voices
were not present that you wish had been.
Practice asking and then allowing a particular voice
to come forward.
Practice leaning to the left, then to the right and
then coming back to center. Each time you lean, imagine
yourself in a particular voice, then when you come back
to center, bring yourself back to aware ego.
Find a teeter-totter. Spend some time sitting at each
end, again going into a voice as fully as possible.
When you are sick of being there, sit in the middle
of the teeter-totter and try to balance. You will find
it is very difficult; this will help your body understand
how to hold the space of the aware ego process, always
in the process of balancing. Ask yourself where your
energy is, notice it and then bring it back to yourself.
Consciously send your energy somewhere (to a thought,
a voice, a body part, a real person or object), then
again call it back.
Ask where your energy is needed, send it there, then
call it back. Allow outside energy to hit you, then
turn it down and bring in a different energy so both
What to do if...
1. You are stuck in a voice:
Say hello to that voice and find out what it wants.
Notice if you are in a space of judgment or gratitude
toward this voice.
Let it draw, write, dance of speak. Set a time limit.
Bring in another voice just to shake up the energy.
If your stuckness is the result of a shadow part trying
to keep you down,
call in that shadow or sabateur voice,
confront it and out loud, make another choice.
If all else fails, enjoy the ride until it is over.
Heck! You paid your money!
2. Voices are in conflict:
Take time to let each one express its perspective through
writing, movement or any other creative way.
Ask yourself what your motivation is; share that with
each voice and then
see what their perspectives have to offer you.
Do aware ego meditation, embracing both energies,
turning each one up and down so you gain perspective
and can create
some space between them.
Look at your own attitude about conflict.
Judgment, resentment, avoidance or fear serve as fuel
for any conflict,
internal or external.
Breathe your spirit and your love into each voice involved
in the conflict;
then forget about it for a while. Call on your own inner
diplomat for help.
3. You are struggling with a decision:
From aware ego, review the question and ask yourself
what is most
important to you at the moment. What do you want this
decision to support?
Check in with the voices concerned and pay close attention
to their agendas
and how that affects their perspective.
Check in with at least one voice that has no connection
to the decision at hand.
Keep a list of how the various voices could serve you
after you have made the decision.
Feel each decision in your body and pay attention to
any reactions; then talk to that reaction. If all else
fails, flip a coin.
4. You lose perspective:
Go to witness and look at your own energy to see what
is going on. Follow tips for when you are stuck. Check
in with the part of you that is resisting movement.
It may have a good reason for blocking any new perspectives.
It may not. Do some physical movement to wake up your
different voices. Identify which perspective you are
in; naming it will bring in some aware ego. If all else
fails, call someone.
5. You are in strong reaction to an energy:
Find it in yourself.
Facilitate that voice in someone else and get a session
Nonverbally, match the energy, then defend against it,
then allow it to be there while bringing in the energy
that is most sppropriate for you. Let the other energy
hit you, then turn it down and allow a second energy
to come forward.
Remember, it is a part of you that is in reaction to
it, not all of you.
Talk with that part so you can separate a little from
If you are not ready to meet this annoying part in yourself,
let the reactive part know that you may confront this
one later, but for now, you would like to let the energy
If you do this, you must find a way to help this voice
not be overwhelmed by it in the meantime.
Breathe in your spirit and send it to your selves, both
the reactive and the offending ones.
If all else fails, send a little energy (spirit and
gratitude) to the person who is carrying this energy
and bless them.
Practice, practice, practice!
Updating and Reeducating your
I. Know the voice you are updating and why you wish
to do so.
- Do a session with the voice you wish to update and
the one that is in reaction to that voice. Remember
that as long as you are judging a voice or pattern,
you will not be able to make the changes you desire.
- Review your own reasons for wanting to update this
II. Updating Process or Ritual
- Take a moment to center yourself in aware ego and
bring your full energy present.
- Check in once again with the voice to be updated.
This process may be done by yourself in writing or with
Your check-in should include the following questions:
A. When did you first come in and what triggered you
B. What triggers you now?
C. What does (your name) need?
D. What is your job in your person's current life?
E. What do you know about your person?
F. He/she would like to make a few changes. How do you
feel about having some changes made in your job? Do
you have any concerns about the process?
- From aware ego, state your reasons out loud for updating
- Listen for any messages from any other voices that
might object. Share them with a facilitator or write
- Describe the changes you want to make in this voice's
job. Again, listen for reaction from that voice or any
other voices and share them with your facilitator.
- Make any adjustments in the job description and repeat
step 5. When you (the aware ego) feel satisfied with
the agreement or new job description, write it down
in the form of a contract. (Remember, this should include
what you the aware ego intend to do differently also,
such as be more in charge, give it a pay raise, more
validation and so on.) Then proceed to step 7.
- Go back into the voice. If you are being facilitated,
have the facilitator state the agreement to the voice.
Then ask if it would be willing to sign an contract.
If so, sign from that voice. If not, ask for clarification
and go back to step 5.
- Come back to aware ego, and sign the contract from
- Have the facilitator witness what has happened up
to this point. If alone, go over it in your mind's eye.
- Healing Meditation
A. Releasing the energy contract to the universe.
B. What is the current color vibration between you and
the voice you are updating? Now bring in the color vibration
that is needed for the new agreement.
C. Allow that color vibration to extend to any voices
that have been its allies or enemies.
D. Acknowledge and welcome this voice in its new job.
E. Breathe in your spirit distributing renewed energy
to every part of you, to every cell.
F. Come back to aware ego and have a cup of tea, glass
of wine or something of this sort to acknowledge the
- Reread your contract once in a while to see if you
are living up to your part of the deal.
- Check in with the voice once in a while to see how
it likes the changes.
- If the voice backslides, gently remind it of the
agreement, and give it a chance to learn new habits.
- If both you and the updated voice have trouble keeping
the agreement, check in with the part of you that does
not want you to change. Reevaluate your reasons for
wanting the change, and make any adjustments you need
to make in the agreement. Then both you and the voice
must initial it.
- Don't be surprised if other voices start popping
up that also need updating. Acknowledge them and do
so if it is appropriate.