Voice Dialogue Tips and Reminders

During a session :

  1. Maintain nonjudgmental attitude.

  2. Be curious about the voices.

  3. Do not try to fix or change the voices.

  4. Don't talk to voices you are in severe reaction to; ask the other person to facilitate you in that voice.

  5. If you get lost while talking with a voice, or if you are not sure what is happening, bring the person back to the state of aware ego, discuss it and try again.

  6. Placement is important; each voice must have its own physical space; aware ego must have its own place as well.

  7. Provide adequate time for each voice. If not possible, let each voice know that it has very little time.

  8. Allow enough time for witness and recreating the ego state.

  9. Be honest with the voices; don't argue with them or make promises on behalf of the other person.

  10. Encourage the voice to speak about the other person as a separate entity.

  11. Change in posture, voice, expression or language indicates another voice is present.

  12. Try to balance the voices when possible; for example, powerful and vulnerable.

  13. Be yourself and have fun discovering your own style.


Aware ego strengthening and maintainance.....
Hold daily staff meetings with your many selves. Check in with them, find out how they are doing and what they might need from you, and let them know what you need from them.

Short meditation bringing in one or more voices just enough to feel their presence.....
Sit for a minute in the tension, then adjust the energy levels, experimenting with bringing one voice in stronger while turning the other down. Then reverse. Release one at a time. Ask yourself at the beginning and the end of each day which voices are running you, which voices are trying to get your attention, and which voices were not present that you wish had been.

Practice asking and then allowing a particular voice to come forward.
Practice leaning to the left, then to the right and then coming back to center. Each time you lean, imagine yourself in a particular voice, then when you come back to center, bring yourself back to aware ego.

Find a teeter-totter. Spend some time sitting at each end, again going into a voice as fully as possible. When you are sick of being there, sit in the middle of the teeter-totter and try to balance. You will find it is very difficult; this will help your body understand how to hold the space of the aware ego process, always in the process of balancing. Ask yourself where your energy is, notice it and then bring it back to yourself.

Consciously send your energy somewhere (to a thought, a voice, a body part, a real person or object), then again call it back.

Ask where your energy is needed, send it there, then call it back. Allow outside energy to hit you, then turn it down and bring in a different energy so both are present.

What to do if...

1. You are stuck in a voice:

Say hello to that voice and find out what it wants.
Notice if you are in a space of judgment or gratitude toward this voice.
Let it draw, write, dance of speak. Set a time limit.
Bring in another voice just to shake up the energy.
If your stuckness is the result of a shadow part trying to keep you down,
call in that shadow or sabateur voice,
confront it and out loud, make another choice.
If all else fails, enjoy the ride until it is over.
Heck! You paid your money!

2. Voices are in conflict:

Take time to let each one express its perspective through a session,
writing, movement or any other creative way.
Ask yourself what your motivation is; share that with each voice and then
see what their perspectives have to offer you.
Do aware ego meditation, embracing both energies,
turning each one up and down so you gain perspective and can create
some space between them.
Look at your own attitude about conflict.
Judgment, resentment, avoidance or fear serve as fuel for any conflict,
internal or external.
Breathe your spirit and your love into each voice involved in the conflict;
then forget about it for a while. Call on your own inner diplomat for help.

3. You are struggling with a decision:

From aware ego, review the question and ask yourself what is most
important to you at the moment. What do you want this decision to support?
Check in with the voices concerned and pay close attention to their agendas
and how that affects their perspective.
Check in with at least one voice that has no connection to the decision at hand.
Keep a list of how the various voices could serve you after you have made the decision.
Feel each decision in your body and pay attention to any reactions; then talk to that reaction. If all else fails, flip a coin.

4. You lose perspective:

Go to witness and look at your own energy to see what is going on. Follow tips for when you are stuck. Check in with the part of you that is resisting movement. It may have a good reason for blocking any new perspectives. It may not. Do some physical movement to wake up your different voices. Identify which perspective you are in; naming it will bring in some aware ego. If all else fails, call someone.

5. You are in strong reaction to an energy:

Find it in yourself.
Facilitate that voice in someone else and get a session yourself.
Nonverbally, match the energy, then defend against it, then allow it to be there while bringing in the energy that is most sppropriate for you. Let the other energy hit you, then turn it down and allow a second energy to come forward.
Remember, it is a part of you that is in reaction to it, not all of you.
Talk with that part so you can separate a little from it.
If you are not ready to meet this annoying part in yourself, let the reactive part know that you may confront this one later, but for now, you would like to let the energy be.
If you do this, you must find a way to help this voice not be overwhelmed by it in the meantime.
Breathe in your spirit and send it to your selves, both the reactive and the offending ones.
If all else fails, send a little energy (spirit and gratitude) to the person who is carrying this energy and bless them.
Practice, practice, practice!

Updating and Reeducating your Voices

I. Know the voice you are updating and why you wish to do so.

  1. Do a session with the voice you wish to update and the one that is in reaction to that voice. Remember that as long as you are judging a voice or pattern, you will not be able to make the changes you desire.

  2. Review your own reasons for wanting to update this voice.

II. Updating Process or Ritual

  1. Take a moment to center yourself in aware ego and bring your full energy present.

  2. Check in once again with the voice to be updated. This process may be done by yourself in writing or with a facilitator.
    Your check-in should include the following questions:
    A. When did you first come in and what triggered you showing up?
    B. What triggers you now?
    C. What does (your name) need?
    D. What is your job in your person's current life?
    E. What do you know about your person?
    F. He/she would like to make a few changes. How do you feel about having some changes made in your job? Do you have any concerns about the process?

  3. From aware ego, state your reasons out loud for updating this voice.

  4. Listen for any messages from any other voices that might object. Share them with a facilitator or write them down.

  5. Describe the changes you want to make in this voice's job. Again, listen for reaction from that voice or any other voices and share them with your facilitator.

  6. Make any adjustments in the job description and repeat step 5. When you (the aware ego) feel satisfied with the agreement or new job description, write it down in the form of a contract. (Remember, this should include what you the aware ego intend to do differently also, such as be more in charge, give it a pay raise, more validation and so on.) Then proceed to step 7.

  7. Go back into the voice. If you are being facilitated, have the facilitator state the agreement to the voice. Then ask if it would be willing to sign an contract. If so, sign from that voice. If not, ask for clarification and go back to step 5.

  8. Come back to aware ego, and sign the contract from here.

  9. Have the facilitator witness what has happened up to this point. If alone, go over it in your mind's eye.

  10. Healing Meditation
    A. Releasing the energy contract to the universe.
    B. What is the current color vibration between you and the voice you are updating? Now bring in the color vibration that is needed for the new agreement.
    C. Allow that color vibration to extend to any voices that have been its allies or enemies.
    D. Acknowledge and welcome this voice in its new job.
    E. Breathe in your spirit distributing renewed energy to every part of you, to every cell.
    F. Come back to aware ego and have a cup of tea, glass of wine or something of this sort to acknowledge the change.

III. Maintenance

  1. Reread your contract once in a while to see if you are living up to your part of the deal.

  2. Check in with the voice once in a while to see how it likes the changes.

  3. If the voice backslides, gently remind it of the agreement, and give it a chance to learn new habits.

  4. If both you and the updated voice have trouble keeping the agreement, check in with the part of you that does not want you to change. Reevaluate your reasons for wanting the change, and make any adjustments you need to make in the agreement. Then both you and the voice must initial it.

  5. Don't be surprised if other voices start popping up that also need updating. Acknowledge them and do so if it is appropriate.

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